Norman Rockwell, Girl at the Mirror

Practicing Metta Prayers

Prayer can be an uncomfortable word for me, but metta prayers or mindful prayers, when spoken and felt sincerely can bring sensations into our awareness and create a way to kindly observe our experience, allowing for acceptance. This can be a challenging meditation as sadness, fear and all sorts of hatred and anger can come up. 

I've taken this meditation, with slight alterations, from Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance and Sharon Salzberg's Loving-Kindness.

Be comfortable, have a cup of tea, sit, sit, sit!

Begin by resting.

Bring your attention to every part of your body in turn, at whatever pace you like and in whatever direction or order you like. Try to let go of physical tension. Take a few deep breaths.     

Think for a few moments about your desire to be happy. Reflect on it. Think about something you have done this week that you feel was good. As your thoughts arise, see what sensations also arise in your body and on your skin. Sensations might include tingling, heaviness, numbness, cold, heat. Bring your attention to sensations that do arise and kindly observe them. 

Choose some phrases to recite to yourself. 

The traditional phrases in a metta practice are:

May I be free from danger

May I have mental happiness

May I have physical happiness

May I have ease of well-being 

These might feel right for you or they might not. Say the phrases aloud carefully and see how they feel. If they feel artificial, allow yourself to be creative and invent another four or five phrases that feel more right. Some suggestions are:

May I have safety

May I be happy

May I be a friend to my body

May I live with metta

May I be held in loving-kindness

May I accept myself just as I am

As you practice this more, you might change the phrases as you go along and try different ones. 

Repeat the phrases aloud or silently in your own mind, or a mix of both. Say the phrases gently and carefully. You may want to breath in as you say a phrase and breath out after. You can coordinate your breath with the prayer or not, it's up to you. It might feel mechanical at some points, just accept this with kindness, you're not always going to feel open to the practice. You will get distracted, just gently return to the prayer when you realise your thoughts have taken over. This practice often brings up ways that you feel bad about yourself which can be challenging. Let these feelings arise, bring your attention to any sensations in your body, note where they are, observe them with love. You could imagine holding your child self or try out another creative visualisation that helps you to remain kind towards yourself. If strong emotions arise, you might say to yourself something like "I care about this suffering"  or "may this reaction too be held in loving-kindness" and then gently return to the phrases, accepting whatever arises.

When you are finished again take some deep breaths and scan the sensations in your body. This practice is the beginning of cultivating metta for others, but as with the last practice, we must begin with ourselves.

DO METTA!